The Tower - English Poetry Project

The Tower

A boy,

Charcoal haired and pale skinned,

Ascends a never-ending, spiral stairway.

Red, soft lips are dried and thinned.

Golden eyes light up the dark pathway.

Far from the very bottom of the tower,

The crowded residence of discouraged and scared,

Neither light nor sound exist,

Any other than a faint dot of light.

Any other than the heavy thuds of might.

White bold numbers on one side of the curved wall

Mark the only traces of achievements,

Refilling the boy with indefinite hope.

At the far edge of the colossal pagoda,

What will the boy encounter?

What fascinating marvels

Will compensate the boy’s greed?

Controlled by the dream,

Obsessed by the imagination,

The boy ascends the tower.

Found Poem - Simon

Found poem from William Golding's novel, Lord of the Flies
Pages: 25, 32, 60~62, 146, 151~152, 157~159, 167~170

Simon

Small, skinny, vivid little boy
With hair black and coarse.
His eyes shined triumphantly, face glowing.

Arrows of sun fell on.
Air vibrated with heat.
Littluns watched.

Simon found fruits they could not reach,
Pulled off the choicest,
Passed them to endless hands.
He ceased to think about himself.

Littluns started to whine,
To run about, screaming,
A circling movement.
Beat like a steady pulse.
Throb and stamp
Of a single organism
Darkly, uncertainly
Crawling out of forest.

Like a pain,
Shrill screaming rose.
Don't try to escape!
I'm the Beast.
I'm part of you.
We shall do you.

Vast mouth, white teeth
Within blackness.
Sticks fell,
Mouth crunched and screamed.
Struck, bit, tore.
No words,
but tearing of teeth and claws.

Blood was staining sand.
Falling, still falling,
Sank towards the beach.
Coarse hair dressed with brightness,
Cheek silvered,
Shoulder became marble.

Surrounded by bright creatures,
Beneath constellations,
Dim with infinite cynicism of adult life,
The picture of a man.
Once heroic and sick.

Identity and Personality

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   In The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje presents few but significant incidents when people mistake one's identities as one's personalities or vice versa. It is the prejudice that is deeply rooted in human nature, often called "Judging the book by its cover". Everyone in villa assumes the identity of Almasy as English because they are convinced by how Almasy behaves and talks. However, Almasy is like English because he has his education there, not because he is English. He is actually Hungarian. He calls himself and Kip "International bastards". Kip is a character who is judged by his identity, not his personalities. Because of his exotic looks and skin colour, he is mistaken as incomprehensible and quixotic man. However, he is actually devoted to helping Britain, not growing hatred due to oppression. Kip feels left out in the society and adopts self-sufficiency to protect himself from others. Kip, however, makes mistakes, too. When he hears the dropping of atomic bomb on Japan, he goes mad and threatens to kill Almasy, who he thinks as a symbol of white men. Kip runs away without killing Almasy and after few years, he wonders about Hana. This ending is not what I expected, but I understand that it was necessary to have this ending to make us feel uneasy. If this novel ended with a plain happy ending with Hana marrying the Kip, then it wouldn't have deep insight to our lives. However, by making Kip go back to his own society and follow the rules there, Ondaatje illustrates how people can be so easily mistaken and decieved. However, I do not think that Kip's decision is good. I think he should have thought about how it was necessary for U.S. to drop an atomic bomb on Japan to end the war.

Interesting Character - Madox

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   As I read on, I found one character very interesting. Madox is a friend of Almasy who goes to the desert for exploration like Almasy. He always carries a book called Anna Katherina, just like Almasy carries Histories. Even though his book is about adultery, Madox stays faithful to his wife. He expresses his feelings very openly and directly. This maybe the reason why he shoots himself right at the church when he realizes the church was promoting the idea of war. Almasy's comment, "Madox was a man who died because of nations" (pg.242) describes Madox as a man of his beliefs. While reading this part, I was absolutely shocked how he would just kill himself while listening to the sermon with his wife. If I were Madox with such beliefs, then I would just shoot the priest and claim that the priest is no interpreter of God because he promotes the idea of mass murder. I would not want my wife to see me suicide and my body lying there, crushed and transformed into a red ragged doll. In wars of propaganda, people like Madox are the victims of the war because they would do anything for their beliefs, which might have been adulterated by media. R.I.P. Madox.

Analyzing Kip...

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   Kip is a second son of his Sikh family from Punjab. His family had the tradition of assigning jobs to the sons, first joining army, second becoming a doctor, and third becoming a businessman. However, due to the war, the soldiers had to be marked with yellow chalks on their body and the first brother of Kip's family was insulted by this. Refusing to join the army, he went to jail and Kip, instead, joined the army because he is kind of a guy who takes orders. Kip is comfortable with being a subordinate and he does not want to be in charge of things. When Lord Suffolk died due to bomb explosion, Kip became the "big guy" in the field. However, in his narrative, he directly mentions that he is more comfortable with being an invisible member of the group. From this chapter, we learn that Kip, even though he does not thoroughly realizes it, is feeling left out of this whole English society and as the English patient says, "[fights] to get back to or get away from [his homeland]". Because he is so used to being alone, he develops a way to defend himself, being completely alone in his thought. However, as he arrives at the mention and meets Hana, Kip starts to change, wanting to develop his relationships with Hana further.

Katherine

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   After writing about the love of the English patient, I got interested in Katherine's character. Even though Katherine first notices the English patient trying to strangle her in her nightmare and she dislikes his over-politeness, she falls in love with the English patient. When I was reading this part, I kept reading the passages again to make sure that she hated the English patient. I just couldn't understand how her increased hate for him turned into love. This was not the only quizzical part I read. Katherine, when dating the English patient secretly, hits him and bruises him. Why would she do such things to her lover? Does she have a multiple personality disorder? Is she a sadist? Well, the only logical explanation for her weird behaviors may be her guilt toward her husband, Geoffrey Cliffton. However, this does not explain much of her behaviors. Then, what are understandable behaviors? Does she just have awkward ways to express her love?

Love of the English Patient

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   Even though Hana loves the English patient, he still clings on to the love of his past, Katherine. The English patient, a desert explorer in 1930's, first meets Katherine when Geoffrey Clinton comes to desert with his plane to help the desert expedition. Katherine is the wife of Geoffrey, but she soon falls in love with the future "English patient". Their love for each other grows day by day and soon, the English patient, who abandons everything for exploring desert, becomes obsessed with his love for Katherine that he cannot live without her. Katherine feels the same way, too, but she is afraid to tell the truth to her husband, so she leaves the English patient. From the past love story of the English patient, I could see his past characteristics. He was a passionate lover and a solitary person. I am very looking forward to read more about him and Katherine's love story and how they resolve their conflict between their love and morality.

Effects of War

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   As I read along the novel, I began to notice the effect of war on the characters. At first, I only regarded the Second World War as an explanation for the circumstances of the villa, Hana taking care of the English patient who has lost almost half of his body. However, the war played bigger role than I expected. Not only physical appearance of the English patient was affected, but his mind changed from being a gregarious explorer to being a storyteller of his unfortunate, but rather healing experience. Hana became shell shocked by the news of her father's death and Caravaggio became very cautious after he got his thumbs cut off by Germans. After reading up to Chapter 3, I started to wonder: "Is there a way for citizens of war fighting country to escape from the influence of the war?" With this question in my mind, I realized that I was in a position to be affected by a potential warfare: Korean war. If the long lasted state of armistice between North and South Korea were to break and our country goes to war, then what should I do? Should I stay in Canada and just wait for the outcome? Or should I go back to Korea to fight as a soldier? I'm not sure what to do now, but sooner or later, the time to make decision will come. I hope I become ready to make that decision, and moreover, I hope North and South unite without any tumults.

At the Verge of Teenage-hood and Adulthood

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   When I started reading this novel at first, I did not understand how Hana could be so brave and determined at her age. She was twenty, which is the age I will reach in two years from now, and she is taking care of a burned English patient in a Italian villa that is surrounded by implanted mines. One small mistake and she will be done for. However, she doesn't seem so fearful at all, taking the cautiousness as a game to play. More and more I read on, I find Hana's personalities somewhat childish. On the other hand, her personalities have some adult qualities, too, such as dealing with sex and death. Ever since she became a nurse in this villa, she saw numerous deaths and was hardened by the experience. However, after the nurses left, she decides to stay in villa, taking care of the English patient, due to her emotional attachment to him. Considering her divided aspects of personalities, she doesn't seem so mature now. Maybe she is confused with her state now and is clinging on to the English pateint, whom she seeks love and comfort.

Relevance of Characters, Settings, & Conflicts

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   In his novel, The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje uses complex narrative system and bold, but rather vivid words to describe the characters, settings, and conflicts. Through his writing, he successfully connects these three main parts of his novel, absorbing the reader more into the deep ocean of pensiveness.

   Settings of this book, first of all, acts as the base to build up the characters and develop the conflicts. The time setting, at the verge of ending World War II, helps Ondaatje to naturally build external and internal conflicts. Not only the war causes massive injury to the English Patient, but also it acts as a factor that helps to isolate the villa from outer side of world. Furthermore, the war itself just adds a bit of uneasy feeling into the story, as if something important has not been done. Both the location setting, the villa and the desert, serve to build the isolated environment which enables the author to elaborate more intensely on the personalities of main characters, the English patient and Hana.

   Then, the characters are built above these bases. Due to the isolated environment, readers can explore deeper into the characteristic of the English patient and Hana. The English patient develops an image of honorable soldier due to his injuries while fighting for the war. After his plane crashed, the Bedouin tribe took care of him and he is very gracious to their kindness. Through his stories, readers gain sympathy for him. Hana is described as the determined woman who takes care of her patient with great care, almost to the extent of love. Two characters and the special relationship between them create conflict when other characters, such as Caravaggio or Kips come in to join the story.

   With all these intricately interacting relevance between characters, settings, and conflicts, Odaatje leads the readers into the mysterious and intriguing tale. Odaatje then leaves the readers to get sucked into the novel, letting them to explore deep into the intensity of The English Patient.

 

English Patient

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   For the Canadian novel study section for the english class, I chose English Patient by Michael Ondaatje.

 The main reason for choosing this book is that I suddenly got interested in this book. At first, I wanted to chose Life of Pi, but my friend, William Park, recommended this book for the class. My first reaction was a complete refusal, stating that this book would be no fun to read. However, after reading the summary, I started to think that this book might not be that bad, even though it is a war story.

 Another reason I chose this book is similar to why William chose this book. I thought it had a lot to write and discuss about. It's always good choice to chose books that are worth writing about in English class, so I chose this book for this another simple reason.

 During this section, I hope to learn more about Canadian literature and how it developed over time. SInce North America has shorter history than that of Europe and Asia, I wonder if the literature took form from the settlers' mother countries. However, the gap of Atlantic Ocean must have seperated the way of development of the same literature into taking different forms. Considering these circumstances, Canadian literature section will teach me more about the literature of the country I'm living in.

 For the inquiry question, I may have a question such as "How did the overall setting of this story, having only two people in the hospital, contribute to the story development and character development of english patient and Hana??"

Two Bullets

             White world, I would call it. It was like magic, nothingness like this. As I opened my eyes wider and sat up, I could see the ground, clear white without any dirt. I felt a bit dizzy, but soon I had a clear mind and vision. As I sat there on the flat ground of nothingness gazing into distance, I felt afraid. I was afraid to be the only one around and afraid I would become nothing, just like the immense nonexistence that engulfed me.

             “You awake?”

The sudden voice and movement jolted me. I jumped up and was astonished to see a figure standing in front of me. It was a man, probably in his late 20s. He was wearing a striped dandy wool hat with black sunglasses and tiny silver earrings. His shirt and jeans had a funky but modern look. I thought he was probably one of those cool adults I would like to be. There was something special about him.

    “Hey, are you there?” he asked again.

             “Wh . . . Who are you?” I asked, awestruck.

             “God, The Almighty One, The Sun, The Sky . . . whatever you call it. Know where this is?” he said, looking down at me.

             “Yeah . . . I guess . . .” I answered as I looked around. It was quite different from what I had expected. I sighed. After staring at me for few seconds, he sat down right next to me.

             “You’re a bit early to be here. Tell me about your life.” he said.

             “Hah! . . . my life has been miserable as hell these days,” I began. “Everything was breaking apart, my relationship with my family and my life at school. Hey, don’t you know all these things if you’re God?” I asked.

             “Yeah I know all about your life, of course. But it’s always more dramatic to hear it from the one that lived it. Please, go on.” he encouraged.

             Actually, there was a whole bunch of things to talk about. Recently, before I died, everything around me was too much for me to handle. As I began grade 11, I started to notice my limits. No matter how hard I tried, I could never satisfy myself. Also, I had to apply for university the next year and was still unsure whether to go into arts or science. My dad always told me I would figure it out as I studied, but it never came to me. Maybe I was afraid to face the choice that would change my entire life, though now, being dead and all, I had no more life to live. The irony of it all hit me hard, but it was too late to repent.

At the time, studying gave me headaches, but my dad added more pressure. He was strict about my marks and obsessed with my grades and behavior in school. He desired more and more from me. If I couldn’t meet his expectations, he would scold and yell at me. Then there were the lectures, always slightly different, but still having the same boring theme about how I should be able to see reality now. The constant lectures annoyed me, so I just shut him out. Other than replying with short grunts, I tried to avoid talking to him. Every time I came back from school, he would ask me how I was doing in school. I would just mutter a few words and shut my door in his face. He wouldn’t understand the hardships I had gone through at school anyway; He would just question why my marks were dropping. He never noticed the subjects I was good at. He never saw what my strengths were, only saw shortcomings.

My mom, on the other hand, always ignored me. When I was younger and felt exhausted from my father nagging me, I sought my mother’s warm presence. She had always been there for me, ever since I was born. We would sit on the couch and talk for hours about many things we both liked. But, as she grew prosperous in her business, she spent less and less time with me. She was rarely at home often when I came back from school and was always on the phone whenever she happened to be at home. As she grew farther from my reach, I tried to deny it, but before I knew it, she shunned me. She said she cannot embrace my childish behaviors anymore since they distracted her.

Shutting my dad out and seeking for my mom’s care, I was lost with no one to turn to and no place to go. Even the tiniest bits of my life choked me and tore me up bit by bit. I was afraid to be lost, to disappear in this world. Other people seemed to be a part of a bigger picture, but I was the leftover that wouldn’t fit anywhere in the machine. How would I give my life meaning again without my family? My story came pouring out to the divine being before me.

“Recently, I kept dreaming the same dream. I was locked up in a cell with electric wires attached to my back. The room was black and white with one wall made of glass. My dad was controlling me with a game pad as I solved piles of questionnaires at a desk, and when I looked up, I saw his gigantic face frowning. The game must not be going well, I would think. My mom was there, too, but soon she was gone. I decided to not look up again. The dull grey cell that held me up had no doors, just an endless ceiling with piles of papers stacked to the top. From the glass wall of the cell the only distraction to escape this madness I could see myself, my younger self, playing with my dad in a colourful world. He was handing me cotton candy. Lost memories faded away and the cotton candy became the clouds in sky. But my distraction was always short, for my dad would gain control of me again. Then I heard a loud screaming and I would wake up, breathing hard. However, one day, I couldn’t wake up. I was trapped in the black and white cell for what seemed like a week. Something was different. There was no screaming. I needed to hear one to wake up. Maybe I missed it. So do you know what I did? I decided to make one. I pull out the wires on my back. It was so painful, but I was free. Free to think and move! Then, I broke through the glass wall. I ran into the free and dream-filled sky. I smiled and screamed joyfully as it embraced me with a warm breeze.”

“Very common way to do it,” he said, “but didn’t it frighten you? You know you have to hit the ground at some point.”

“Well, thinking that I would be locked up there forever frightened me more,” I said.

Suddenly, he got up and lifted his hand. There, I saw creation grow out of nothing. It looked like a small white glowing ball and it was sucking up the emptiness around it. Then, with a flash of light, it became a 38-caliber revolver. It was sparkling with silver light, and the brown wood handle gave it an antique look. It scared me. “Wha . . . Why did you make a gun? What are you going to do to me?” I shouted as I jumped up.

“I have to give you a punishment for your wrong-doing.” he said, “I hope this will make you realize the truth.”

“Wait! I didn’t do anything wrong. I was the victim! I’m the one who suffered the most here!” I pleaded.

“Well, we’ll see about that.” he said, “Just give me the bullets. They are in your back pocket.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t make the bullets,” he said. “Just give them to me.” I searched my back pocket. There were two bullets there, and each had the number 41 written on it. As I passed them to him, I realized what the numbers meant.

“Ahh, both are 41! They must have been a campus couple, eh?” He loaded the bullets into the gun. “It may hurt or it may not. Each bullet will hurt as much as they suffered. Just pray they didn’t feel anything by your death.” he said. He pointed the revolver at me.

Bang.

The pain was unbearable. My body twitched violently as the bullet penetrated my heart. Every nerve seemed to be bursting and my heart felt as if it had exploded. But, I was dead. I couldn’t escape. I had to feel the every part of the pain, every sensation of it. I screamed. Every one of my blood vessels pumped frantically to relieve the agony that was ripping through my body. There was no relief.

“Hah . . . it must hurt a lot,” he said. “Why did you do such a thing? That’s the extent he suffered. One more left to go. Remember this pain you caused. You can never forget how it feels though.”

Bang.

Another shot pierced my flesh right where the one before had. If there was hell, this was it. I fell to my knees and rolled to the ground. The same amount of pain, perhaps even more, brought the doom. After what seemed like years, I was finally free. There I was, lying on the ground, sweating and crying. I felt all water inside me drain away.

“After you endure this last pain, you will reborn into a new human being. But don’t worry; you’ll have your chance to be a better son. Once parents, they will always be your parents.” he said.

Those were the last words I could catch from him. My conscience was fading. Then, I closed my eyes. The white empty world was engulfed with darkness. 

Time Flows within Memory

Still
I hear your voice
And still
I feel the warmth of your hand
Even today
I'm living in the reminiscence of you

In looks of a stranger who walks by me
On a leaf that sways in lonliness with breezing wind
In freezing air thag touches my cheek
I can recognize you

What about you?
Do you share my madness?
I long to hear from you
From above where I live

Tomorrow
I'll see you again
Tomorrow
I'll hear you again
And tomorrow
It will all be same

Sedentary Me

      <source: http://merewyn.us/sedentary-series-of-abstract-figures/>

      In "A Plea for the Physical", Kate Braid's essay, living with physical activeness is recommended by the author. She especially emphasizes the importance of communication through real body motion, not just communicating in cyber world. She also encourages readers to be physically active and exercise more. However, I am living a very sedentary life, the one that contradicts her opinion in every ways.

      Sedentariness plays too much significant role in my life. I can't get out of it. I always try to be little bit more comfortable, and I want things to be little bit more convenient. For example, after I moved to an apartment in Wesbrook Mall, I got out of the habit of walking. Before I moved, I lived fairly near to the village, so when I went to the village for a McDonald's meal or a bowl of chow mien, I always walked. However, after I moved, I had to walk a lot to go to the village. So, whenever I had to go to the village, I started taking a bus. It didn't matter to me that it actually took more time for me to take a bus and get off at the village than walking. Walking for that distance without anything to motivate me was very annoying job. Now, you will say I'm too lazy and not exercised. The truth is, I am. As I stopped to exercise after finishing P.E. 10 course, I slowly became lazier and lazier and it finally came to this: a person who cannot, or rather will not, walk for more than 20 minutes. As I exercised less and less, the laziness and sedentariness in me grew.

      If you say laziness for exercising is a push factor, the pull factor of becoming sedentary was the recent significant development of internet and electronic devices. It will not be a false statement to categorize a teen's life with three steps: Rest - School/Education - Internet. Rest here, is defined to include sleeping, eating, and all the other things that one do which is not related to some form of education and electronic devices. Now, many will find this is actually true, especially those people who are always online on Facebook whenever I log on. (No offence :D) With bombardment of entertainments such as games, TV shows, dramas, movies, social networking, and etc, internet users seldom get bored. For me, after using tons of internet for about 4 to 5 hours, I get out of the cyber world due to boredom and tiredness. After getting out of the computer, I chat with my friend via Facebook message or Kakaotalk. This hugely addictive internet became part of our lives from being a syndrome. Moreover, it became the chain that would keep us from escaping the recent "sedentarism" boom.

      Even though I have awareness of the negative effects of being a sedentary person, I still pursue to be one. It is not matter of preference to me. I always preferred to live more physically, but in reality, I lack the will to maintain the state. After writing few paragraphs about living sedentary life, I made up my mind to do physical activities with my friends. Actually, for many days my friends have asked me to exercise with them. I always refused due to busy schedule and other excuses. However, now that I feel the urgent need of more exercise, I decided to exercise with my friends by playing soccer, going swimming, and walking more. Maybe after few months, my life will change significantly, in a positive way.